Man, after a long day there is a good hour of absolute exhaust inspired depression when I get home. I should convert this in to meditation, work out or masturbation time rather than just use it to make people worry that my mental state is spiraling in to a never ending black abyss.
It is a worry that I am just a depressive type. Pretty sensitive and have mood swings. I hope it is just the stress of working.
Speaking of which, contract extended to the 27th. Stayed last night to get a bulk out of the way - and did. The idea is that we now have our weekends back and we're looking to leave on time for a while. Which will be good for my soul, when I get home tired I feel like a different person and it takes a while to re-become an, albeit extremely tired version of myself.
Despite my general self loathing, there are elements of me I like - which are mostly gone when I'm in this state. I think this is the cause of all this whinery. tsk.
New Computer parts arrived just as I left for work this morning. Oh the aggrevation, I wanted to open the box and roll around in them. Good thing I had to leave as I'm pretty sure this would have been a regrettable decision.
'Nothing else Matters' just came on at work. Hell yeah.
Lots and lots of police sirens around today. Down side of working in the central film area of London is that central London is rife with crime. And worse, tourists.
'Hurt' plays at work. I secretly think they are sampling music off of my iPod. Oh, and now Dope Show is playing. CONSPIRACY CONSPIRACY!
I know I've gone on about this already, but now cake is playing. And the track is 'never there'. an excerpt of the lyrics :
"I need your arms around me, I need to feel your touch
I need your understanding, I need your love so much
You tell me that you love me so, you tell me that you care
But when I need you baby, youre never there"
I wouldn't choose this song to represent how I feel, at all. It's just ironic. As though something supernatural is being condescending and sarcastically suggestive. I'm very near falling asleep at work right now.
Splashed cold water on my face, drank an entire Lucozade AND a cup of tea with 2 sugars. Come awn!
